Annual what-we-did-this-year blurb for 2014

Greetings to all.

Last year I wrote a great multi-instalment account of what I and Eve had been doing in the previous 12 months. My intention is to squeeze the account of 2014 into one episode. We shall see what my stint at the keyboard delivers. I cannot hope to compete in human interest with my cousin Mike's account of his desperate search for a lavatory near Buda castle. But I can certainly promise that this epistle will be illustrated.

At the end of 2013 we hosted our first wwoofer. Wwoof is an acronym for willing worker on organic farms. Through the year we have had a series of delightful young people in the house. They work on the farm for 4 or 5 hours per day and we provide board and lodging. They are usually travellers, working their way around New Zealand, but we have had a Kiwi, too. They have harvested last summer's garlic, hung it up to dry, cleaned and sorted it. Wwoofers helped to plant this year's crop, mulch it and weed it. And they have all been great company.

Christian (Germany), Elisa (Austria), Fabian (Germany) and Eve. For some reason, the two boys would do anything Elisa asked them to.

14 January 2014 was a very important day for us. That was when Laurel Sara Heritage, my first grandchild, was born. She had the great good sense to choose Richard and Tansy as her parents and, as you would expect, is growing into a delightful child. Not that Grampa is biased of course.

Laurel will be very literate. She has no option. Aunty Elizabeth has already started her on Pride and Prejudice and Grampa recites poetry to her; Spike Milligan and Ogden Nash mostly.

In February we booked ferries and drove to Auckland. Eve's niece Leigh was getting married to Glen on Waiheke Island on 1 March and this was an excuse to visit some other good friends. In Pauanui we caught up with Martin Little, who I have known since he flatted with my brother, Nigel, in London in the 1970s. In Auckland, John Vague, one of my many accountant friends, took us out on Auckland Harbour in his launch. We had a wonderful day, even though the snapper we caught were all undersized and had to be thrown back.

The wedding took place under a tree on a hill surrounded by grapevines. The weather was perfect. The groom was dashing. The bride was beautiful. It couldn't have been better.

Glen is from Ulster so we met his mother and aunt. We got on very well, and have pressing invitations to stay with them if we are ever in Northern Ireland. Leigh is a singer, so the reception music was live and featured some very well known (except to me, of course) musicians.

After a good party it was agony to get up early the next morning. But it had to be done so that we could get the first ferry back to the mainland and deliver me to the airport. I then flew to Wellington to play hockey. I was playing in the National Masters Tournament as a member of the Nelson 60+ team. So at the end of my hockey career I achieved representative honours. Not that there was a lot of competition for selection. If you were over 60 and still a registered player in Nelson you were in the team.

Eve drove the car South at a leisurely pace and collected me at the end of the week. After the tournament I retired from competitive hockey (for the second time). I still umpire and I will still play Golden Oldies hockey.

On the work front I fired my biggest client! I had been contracting to the New Zealand Institute of Chartered Accountants since 2004 to undertake quality control reviews of chartered accountancy practices. In 2013 this expanded to include reviews of licensed auditors under delegated authority from the Financial Markets Authority. Over time this had changed from being a largely educational process and become very much a policing operation. I have been heard to say that the FMA should have issued its reviewers with jackboots and a steel helmet. I did not enjoy it nearly so much, so I gave notice that I would not be renewing my contract.

Over time I had built up a little list of clients to whom I deliver advice on auditing and technical accounting matters. There wasn't enough of that work to generate a decent income, but preliminary discussions led to talks and then to an arrangement to help one of the national accounting firms. Again I am a contractor, not an employee, but I have the grand title of National Audit Risk Manager for BDO NZ. I even have a BDO email address, but it only accepts internal messages so you can't try it out. (BDO is a global network of accounting firms.) Quality control reviews are a large part of my work, but it also involves training audit personnel, and developing/improving audit policies and practices. And I can still do work for my other clients.

Eve went travelling without me in June. The original idea was to go with a friend, but the friend eventually couldn't go so Eve took off by herself. She went to the UK to see friends and relatives. These included her brother, Geoff Franklin, and my brother Nigel. The visit to Geoff and his wife, Stephanie, coincided with the death of Stephanie's mother, Doris. Doris had been ill for some time, so it was not unexpected, but it still made for a sombre visit.

Eve took a brand new camera with her but she didn't use it much. You will not be surprised to learn that nearly all the photos she brought home were of plants.

While Eve was away it fell to me to replace the car. The old one, which had given no trouble at all, suddenly developed several ailments at once. We have remained loyal to Toyota, but have gone up to a Camry because (a) it is very comfortable and (b) we got a really good deal on a not-quite-two-years-old vehicle. Luckily Eve likes it as much as I do.

After Eve got home we had less than a fortnight before we were off together. This year's holiday was to Fiji. After trying snorkeling for the first time in Hawaii last year Eve was very firm about doing some more. We did lots more.

We actually went on a package holiday. What? The Heritages are famously independent travellers. The deal we found was an 11-night tour of some of Fiji's offshore islands; the Mamanucas and Yasawas if you want to look them up. We selected the grade of accommodation and the tour operator selected five different resorts for 2-night stays and the last night was at Beachcomber 'party' island. Naturally we selected the most basic “1 coconut” resorts, but took the “Full Monty” package with lots of activities included.

Every day a large, yellow, fast ferry leaves Denarau in the morning and follows a route to the most distant of the Yasawa Islands. Then it turns round and heads back to Denarau. Along the way it picks up and drops off passengers and freight at the many resorts. Only one resort has anything so sophisticated as a jetty. The ferry merely slows down and drifts while people, luggage and freight are transferred to and from the resort's launch. Then it powers off to the next mid-ocean rendezvous.

We had a wonderful time and I could enthusiastically write at great length about out time in Fiji. Our resorts were generally small and run by the owner family. Our fellow guests were mainly young people on backpacker budgets. Both groups were invariably friendly and good company. Our bures were simple and comfortable and with one exception had en-suite facilities. At one resort we had a tiny private yard with an open air shower amongst the hibiscus. We generally had cold showers, but that's no penance in the tropics. The food was variable, but if the dining was sometimes ordinary, the dinner table conversation never was.

Every resort had at least one delightful, sandy beach. The sea was packed with coral and our snorkelling equipment got plenty of use. We saw all sorts of marine life, from living cowrie shells to sea snakes to manta rays. The new camera was a waterproof one, purchased with snorkelling in mind. For all that, it was an effort to break the habit of many years and put an expensive camera under the surface the first time.

One activity was advertised as feeding the sharks. The guides made much of the sharks' alleged preference for white skinned flesh. In the event, we didn't see the sharks eat anything, but we did gape at the way the guides played with them – grabbing them and bringing them up to the surface so we could all stroke the captive.

Fish amongst coral

Eve, Bill, Jess (UK), Simon (Germany) and Celine (Sweden)

A cowrie shell with the owner still inside

Eve caught the most fish

Who wants to pat the shark, then?

There are more photographs on my Facebook page if you are interested.

When not actually immersed in the sea we lazed in shaded hammocks, played/watched volleyball, fished, were serenaded as we watched the sunset from an open boat and, at one resort, dined al fresco just above the beach – again at sunset.

Our favourite resort was Naqalia, despite it having the coldest shower. They put on a lovo (earth oven feast) and a wonderful demonstration of Fijian dancing followed by a kava ceremony.

The tour operator was Awesome Adventures Fiji (http://www.awesomefiji.com). We recommend them.

Last Christmas I recklessly promised Eve that we would adopt a puppy from the SPCA. In August she exercised this option and we brought home Flossie.

Flossie is a 'summer' dog. She's summer this breed and summer that breed ;-) She is certainly good, exuberant company. We took her to puppy school where she learned to 'socialise' with other pups, which appears to be code for 'become uncontrollable'. We are trying very hard to mainly feed her the recommended, scientifically correct puppy food, which costs rather more than a restaurant steak. Flossie much prefers the supermarket's own-brand dog sausage, sheep poo or (if she is lucky enough to find one) a rabbit or hedgehog that has been dead for a week. When we first got her, she was miserably car sick. Now she sees a ride as a treat to be secured at all costs. A few days ago she spotted a stranger's car parked near our gate with a door left open. She immediately leapt inside and to our mortification ignored all commands to get out. She is now six months old and has successfully charmed us both.

October brought high drama. We had a French couple, Nicolas and Charlotte, wwoofing for us. Their English wasn't very fluent, but it was improving noticeably as their stay progressed. One of their tasks was to trim the twigs off broom stems that Eve's son Matthew had cut, and chop the stems into firewood length pieces. One day they arrived at the house in a very agitated state. Nicolas had been using a machete and had slashed his left thumb.

I immediately phoned for an ambulance, while Eve applied first aid. Both Nicolas and Charlotte were in a bad state, and Nicolas would not let Eve bind the hand properly. It was, Eve said afterwards, the first time she'd seen the inside of a living bone – and she would have liked a closer look. The machete had gone right through the bone and his thumb was attached only by soft tissue. Anyway, Eve did wrap it up in a towel and made Nicolas keep his hand elevated.

Rural properties are often difficult to identify at the roadside, so I was instructed to go down to the gate and make sure the ambulance came to the right place. It seemed to be taking an awfully long time, and then a helicopter appeared, circled once and then zeroed in on the house. Once I had climbed back up the hill I learned that the ambulance had been replaced by the rescue helicopter. The pilot had managed to land on the only level-ish piece of ground near the house.

The medics praised Eve for doing exactly the right thing and put a huge bandage on the injured hand. Nelson Hospital does not have the right specialists for sewing thumbs back on, so Nicolas was whisked directly to Hutt Hospital, in the North Island, which has a Plastics Department. The next morning the surgeon did his magic and the day after that Nicolas and Charlotte were back with us. The last we heard, the thumb is healing well.

Charlotte and Nicolas after the surgery

As if to compensate, November brought a piece of luck. BDO asked if I would help to present a week-long training session being run jointly with BDO Australia in Sydney. Did Eve want to come to Sydney with me? Of course she did.

The flight from Christchurch to Sydney was remarkable for what happened on the ground at Sydney Airport. Our plane was not directed to a gate with an air-bridge, so we had to be bussed from the aircraft to the terminal. We were seated close enough to the front of the plane to get on the first bus. When it was full the driver started the engine and pressed the switch to close the doors. The front doors closed, the rear doors hissed shut but the middle doors only waggled a bit. Open the doors and try again … After several attempts, some with physical assistance, all the doors closed – but the bus's electrics apparently didn't believe it because the vehicle would not move. By this time the passengers still on board the 'plane must have been getting very fed up.

The second bus had arrived, so we all shuffled off the first one and traipsed over to the replacement. The doors all closed to a subdued ironic cheer. The lady driver backed out into clear space, turned so that the bus was facing the right way and engaged forward gear. Nothing happened. It was an electric vehicle, and we could see her pushing buttons, but every time she attempted to move off one of the buttons popped out and the bus stubbornly stayed where it was. After several minutes she turned off the air conditioning and by some alchemy that allowed the motor to produce forward motion so we could proceed to the terminal.

We managed to have some time to ourselves at the weekends before and after the course. We took the ferry from Circular Quay to the zoo, which has a splendid collection of Australian fauna. We saw wild kookaburras and heard a clamorous reed-warbler. The latter has a loud, tuneful song, which it delivers without ever seeming to take a breath. It was in a fairly small cage but neither of us could see it! We visited Eve's friend Tasneem and her husband Don in Brighton le Sands. Eve had repeatedly told me that Tasneem is gorgeous. I can now confirm that she is.

During the working week I was coaching BDO senior auditors in how to do even better audits. Eve ambled around some of Sydney's tourist spots, had an extravagant lunch with Tasneem and devoted one day to the botanical gardens. She reported back on a number of shops, but did very little actual shopping. Her most notable purchase was a range of teas from a bookshop cafe.

On our last day we walked the Manly Scenic Walkway. The route is all within Sydney. Some of it is through suburbs, but an astonishingly large part of it is genuine bush. We enjoyed great views of the harbour, heard more kookaburras and saw many interesting plants.

A pied currawong

Eve had spent most of the week on her feet and had walked up some blisters. Near the end of the scenic walkway a large blister burst and the raw skin underneath was agony to walk on. Luckily we were approaching a residential area and the sight of a bus stop promised relief. The bus took us to the Manly Ferry Terminal, where we caught the fast ferry back to Circular Quay and a taxi to the airport.

My parents' estates got (mostly) settled during the year. We have paid off a chunk of the mortgage, but kept enough back to make us think of owning a boat. We have already inspected a few launches and hope to report on nautical adventures next year.

My Uncle Norman celebrated his 90^th birthday in December. He is clearly confident of eclipsing his brother's 91 years and 5 months because he has already invited us to his 100^th birthday party! And look out for the celebrations next October when he and Chick will have been married for an amazing 70 years.

Christmas was on a smaller scale than usual. Matthew has been living with us for the last few months and the only others to share our roast turkey were our most recent wwoofers, Minako and Naoto from Japan. They are a lively couple, who managed to maintain smiles on their faces even after 3 weeks of weeding the garlic. Minako is a qualified teacher and she spent a couple of days at Lower Moutere School observing the end-of-school-year chaos. She also enjoys cooking and has promised to come back in the New Year and cook us a Japanese banquet. Yummm.

You didn't think you were going to get away with only one photo of my granddaughter, did you? This is Laurel at 10 months.

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Eve here now, but where to start? Bill has told you all of the news really but perhaps I can add a few comments.

First of all I'm fully in favour of having wwoofers to help on the farm. They've made things much easier for me and I don't have to worry so much about getting things done, especially in the garlic field. As Bill said, we've had a lovely mixture of young people here to help out. In spite of a neighbour telling us not to have under twenty year olds, this nationality and that, because they're lazy, useless etc., we have had very good experiences with all of them. Apart from being hard workers and lots of fun, we've had some very good cooks here too, so have tried many different ethnic foods.

One of the best things to happen this year is Bill giving Practice Review the old heave-ho. He is far more relaxed and happy with his new working life than he has been at least for the past two years. He even manages to take the odd afternoon off! Here's hoping that when we get our launch, he'll find even more time to relax.

My trip to England was quite leisurely. I spent time with Nigel in beautiful Dorset, and had a lovely few days there visiting stately homes and gardens with Vivienne, a family friend of the Heritages. We also had a great morning, Vivienne and I, ratting round in charity shops. We went back to Nigel's with some great bargains. I then went to visit my brother and sister-in-law near Tamworth. The countryside around there is very pretty, though in the circumstances we didn't go out very much. Next, I went on to stay with a friend in Port Sunlight which is a very interesting and attractive town, built originally by the Lever brothers (Sunlight soap) for their staff and their families.

Another train journey took me to Winchester to visit my cousin Geraldine and her husband Paul. It was great to see them again. Winchester is amazing and has a most beautiful old cathedral which was consecrated in 1093. There was a church there before that which was built around 600 AD (the Old Minster).

I then moved on to our friend June's home in Norfolk near Norwich and had seven or so days there doing her garden and going out with her to visit nature reserves and other beautiful places. We didn't go to the Broads this time.

After being home from my travels for about a fortnight, Bill took me to Fiji for my birthday. It had to be the best birthday present ever! He's told you enough about all that so I won't carry on.

This  year has to be the best one for the vegetable garden and it's simply because I now have drip irrigation for it. It makes such a difference to just turn on the pump from the stream and leave the garden to soak up the water. Everything is growing very well although I haven't got everything planted yet.

All in all it's been a very interesting and enjoyable year but I feel as though I'm never going to catch up on all the things that need doing around here! At least I won't be away from home as much next year.

We wish all our friends and relations a very happy and healthy 2015.